Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Am I on Candid Camera?

Ravings: This weekend my sister’s family and my family are having pictures taken. By a professional photographer! And we are paying him! A lot! Here are the conversations Jason and I have had about this upcoming event.

First I approach him with the concept. We can get some candid shots. Put something together for your mom. I’m sure she doesn’t have too many pictures of CJ. Etc, etc. You get the idea, right? His response: Sure, whatever you want.

A week or so later I approach him with “We are scheduling the pictures.” Him: “What pictures?” Me: “You know, the pictures we talked about doing with my sister” Him: “Huh?” Me: (with the look. you know the one.) “Really? We talked about this a few days ago.” Him: “Oh ok” Me: knowing he has no earthly idea what I’m talking about and has essentially stopped listening 3 seconds into this exchange “Do you have a preference on days?” Him: “No, whenever is fine.”
And another few days later. Me: “We scheduled the pictures for Sunday the 11th.” Him: “What pictures?” (Are you sensing a theme?) Me: “The pictures we are doing with my sister.” Him: “Do you really want to do this?” Me: “That is why I asked you about it weeks ago. I already agreed to it.” Him: “Ok, whatever.”

And then just a few days ago. Me: “I bought you a couple sweaters to try on for the pictures on Sunday.” Him: “What pictures? I’m working Saturday.” Me: “We are having pictures done with my sister, and I know you have to work Saturday. That’s why I scheduled it for Sunday.” Him: “Why do we have to have pictures taken? Can’t you just take them?” Me: “Yes, but then I’m not in any of them, and he’ll be doing candids.” Him: “Oh. I don’t wear sweaters.” Me: “I know you don’t love sweaters, but we are planning to go to the park for a while and I would prefer you not have a coat on in all those pictures.” Him: “I’ll just wear a polo.” Me: “Have you been outside? It’s winter!” Him: “Oh. Ok, whatever.”

None of the sweaters fit him, of course! So we agree to go shopping on Tuesday (last night) after work. That was also an interesting conversation that went in about 14 circles, until we landed on me saying, “You can go shopping with me or live with whatever I pick out!” He’s super picky and he knows I have a wicked sense of humor, so he agreed to go. Yesterday morning, I say to him, “We’re going shopping tonight right?” His response: “For what?” I was not so kind at that point. It was morning and you can see how many times we have had the same conversation. I had a right to be mean! After his apologetic phone call that afternoon, he agreed to go shopping until we found what we needed. (Jusy FYI: I also apologized for being mean!)

Believe it or not, the shopping experience was the worst part! First, he’s a guy, so his idea of shopping is grab the first sweater you see and head out. He’s worse than shopping with a toddler! Then, the selection is horrendous. What do they even make men’s sweaters with the tight band at the waistband? Is that flattering on anyone?? Especially men who don’t look photo shopped! Jason is not Will Smith or Mark Wahlberg or even Sean Connery, and those men would not wear those sweaters! Jason looks like a caricature of himself wearing a tight waisted sweater. If left to his own devices, he would dress like a 75 year old man from the 80”s. He doesn’t need help by having this clothing disguised as fashion. When I met him, he was still wearing pleated and cuffed pants. The man needs all the fashion assistance he can get.

We did finally find him a sweater that looks half way decent. At least he won’t look like a clown. Maybe the coat’s not such a bad idea…..

Cravings: Given the painful shopping excursion we experienced, I couldn’t force myself to come home and make dinner, so we stopped and got Mexican. Thank God for salsa and margaritas!

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