Friday, March 28, 2008

Too many choices???

How does one go about deciding the genetic fate of their offspring? What a daunting and bizarre experience! I know less about my ex-husbands genetic background than I do about the potential “baby daddy.” Why I chose not to reproduce with him had little to do with genetics, however!!!!

Here are the basics. There is a catalog of donors, which you can access online. The initial list gives the basics-hair color and texture, eye color, height, weight, some screening results, and typically educational background. Then you can review a short profile which gives a bit more family medical background and “essay” type answers to some questions. You can then purchase more information about the perspective donor, including in some cases, baby pictures and current pictures. I have decided to go the “open” donation route, which just means that the donor is open to some amount of contact/disclosure once the child is 18.

Now, I have done more than my share of online dating, and this seems similar in that there are so many choices, you can psyche yourself right out of making a decision. I think my mind is programmed for finding a mate and a good father. It’s difficult to think only in terms of genetic selection. There are some obvious rule outs based on my own family medical history, but hair color, eye color, height, weight, even educational background. How much do these things really matter? Will I end up regretting my choice of donors? What if my child is short or suffers from obesity? How much of that is controlled by environment? I never realized how difficult this would be to think about.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Lag time

Seems I have left some of you hanging. I apologize for the delay in updates. I haven’t had much motivation to write lately. I am not a natural writer, so I need inspiration! Anyway, thanks to everyone who is supporting this blog and asking for more.

Updates: The AI is almost under way. I had my last round of tests to ensure I am worthy. This still bothers me on principal. I am purchasing a product that almost anyone with absolutely no qualifications can get for free. And yet, I’ve had to continually prove my worthiness. I even had to go see a geneticist! I have a rare blood factor that can cause a variety of medical conditions, one of which my mother has. It’s too complicated to go into here, but it is an extremely rare disease, even with the presence of this blood factor. Well, I’ve known about this since I was a child and disclosed it during my interview. I have done enough research to know the risks and explained this to the nurse. She, however, decided it was her calling to make me feel like a monster for even considering putting a child at risk. Statistically speaking, my child would be at greater risk for getting bitten by a shark at birth, but no matter to her!!! So, I went. I am certainly not going to be accused of being a bad mother before I am even pregnant. I will wait until I really screw something up for that! Anyway, I saw the geneticist, who confirmed my facts. The nurse seemed almost disappointed when I told her! Wonder if I should analyze that???

Now, I am at the donor choosing stage. It’s an interesting process, which requires a blog of its own! I promise it won’t be a month in the making.

Update on amazing man: He’s still in the picture, although less and less. Our “relationship” is tumultuous at times, but we seem to have a pretty solid friendship if we can keep the boundaries clear. I have told him about the baby plan and he reeled at first, thinking it was some sort of ultimatum, but I believe he will be supportive. We shall see….