Ravings: I am feeling melancholy today. These days pop up every now and again. I’m sure there is some sort of hormonal shift involved, but I can’t seem to find the pattern in the bad days. I woke up tired. I don’t think I slept well and Shadow was restless most of the night, which keeps me awake. But I’ve had those nights and not felt this way so I can’t say that is the cause. The brain is so mysterious and powerful. I think it just knows its own limits, and it knows that I just need to cry out some of the buried sorrow. I’ll do that tonight, even though it still freaks Jason out that I can cry for no apparent reason and then feel better. Just part of the differences between men and women. I like the female way better! My way doesn’t require breaking things apart. Now I just need to make it through my work day without shedding tears. On days like this everything, and I mean everything, makes me cry. This is how I know it’s one of the bad days.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I’m going to just put myself out there. I know, I know. Everyone has read about the details of picking a donor and carting sperm around a clinic, so we can’t get much more intimate, but this just makes me sound a little crazy. So I’m driving to work, being generally annoyed that people in Cleveland still haven’t figured out how to drive in the rain. Snow is on its way people, let’s figure this out! I’m listening to NPR, which I do every morning on my way to work, and they do this cutesy story about The Office and how some website (can’t recall which one) is now selling actual Dunder Mifflin copy paper. Cute, fluff story that lasts about 3 ½ minutes and ends with the theme music from the office. And I well up with tears. The tears that come from the bottom of your diaphragm and fill your throat until they spill over and run down your cheeks as you try to choke them back down. It’s that kind of sad and pathetic day. And I can’t wait for it to be over so I can go home and crawl into my big comfy bed. With Shadow, who is the best snuggler in the universe!

Cravings: With all the holiday eating, I decided to go a bit light on dinner last night. And Jason is in one of his “I’m going to eat less” phases. Those usually only last a few days, so it’s important to take advantage of it. To that end, we had spinach salad with goat cheese “croutons” and eggnog ice cream with left over cranberry sauce.

Goat Cheese “croutons"

1 egg
1 T whole wheat flour
2 T panko
1 t dried thyme
1 t garlic powder
1 log of goat cheese
1 T butter
Olive oil

Beat egg in a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix flour, panko, thyme and garlic. Cut cheese into discs. This sounds easier than it is. The cheese is really crumbly, so just mash it back together. Dip it in the egg and then in the panko mixture. Coat it well with the panko. I did all the discs and put them on a plate, then melted the butter and added the olive oil to completely coat the bottom of the pan. Fry the discs for a couple minutes on each side, just until they get brown and crispy. Carefully remove them from the pan to a plate. The cheese doesn’t really melt, but it does get really soft.

Spinach Salad

Spinach leaves
½ cup red onion, diced
2 oranges, peeled and sectioned
Seeds of ½ a pomegranate
½ cup walnuts, chopped
½ cup cherry balsamic vinegar (regular will work also)
¼ cup olive oil
¼ cup fresh basil, chopped
Salt
Pepper

When I make salad, I put each ingredient in a separate dish because the boys are sometimes picky about stuff. That way that can put in whatever they like and however much they want. I chopped the red onion and soaked it in cold water while I prepped everything else. (Supposed to take the bitter out of raw onion.) I peeled and sectioned the oranges, squeezing the juice into a separate bowl for the dressing. I seeded half a pomegranate in with the oranges. It’s all fruit, right? Chopped the walnuts. For the dressing, I added the vinegar and oil to the orange juice, then added the basil, salt and pepper and whisked it together. Serve the salad with the goat cheese croutons on top. I also served some frozen garlic rolls and the ice cream. Oh, and of course, a glass of wine.