A little advice

Ravings: Things not to say to a woman without children!

1. Why do you want kids? I was actually asked this so many times when I was trying to get pregnant. Even by people with children. Why does anyone want children? And why do I have to justify this desire? I want kids because I want kids.
2. Why don’t you just adopt? Seriously, do you think I hadn’t considered adoption? And do you really think it’s as easy as picking up some eggs from the market?
3. You would understand if you had kids. Do you understand what it’s like to be interrogated about your desire and ability to have kids, then select and purchase, at enormous cost, a strangers sperm, go to a nurse carrying your costly vial of sperm, have it inserted in a brightly lit, cold dr’s office alone, and then spend the next 2 weeks worrying about your every move and hoping that the money you spent doing all this won’t have to be repeated in a month? And then second guessing every move that you made wondering if it was that yard work that stopped the egg from implanting, after you find out for the umpteenth time that you aren’t pregnant.
4. You are so lucky you can…./you don’t have to… Seriously? It’s not luck that stopped me from having children. It was infertility. Having children isn’t something forced upon you. When you decided to have them, you took on the responsibility of taking care of them. And I wouldn’t really call my year of dashed hopes and deep disappointment lucky.
5. Why don’t you have children? Why are you even asking this? Do you really want to hear about my struggle with infertility? And even if I’d decided not to have kids, what answer are you really looking for here? Anything that is said is just uncomfortable for everyone involved. Think before you speak!

I’m sure the list could go on and on. And I’ve really only focused on the things that irritate me. It still amazes me how insensitive people can be, especially the people who know what I’ve been through with the artificial insemination. This attitude that being a parent makes you somehow a superior human being makes me want to scream.

Cravings: The boys took me out to dinner last night for my birthday, so I had the night off from cooking. I did, however, remember to bring the recipe from last week that I promised to provide. It was Asian shrimp in cabbage cups.

1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
¼ cup soy sauce
1 T five-spice powder
1 T hot chili sauce (like sirracha)
½ T agave or honey
1 cup brown rice
1-2 T sesame oil
½ sweet onion
½ cup matchstick carrots
Several cabbage leaves

Combine the shrimp, soy sauce, five-spice, chili sauce, and honey in a bowl and let it marinate while you prepare the rest of the ingredients. Boil the rice with water or stock. I used water so CJ could eat it, but I think it tastes better when done with stock. Dice up the onion and the carrot (or just buy matchstick carrots, it’s much easier!). Sauté the onion until it becomes translucent, then add the carrot and sauté for another minute or two. You want the carrots to still be a bit crunchy. Then add the shrimp and the marinade and sauté until the shrimp is cooked. To serve, fill a lettuce cup with rice and the shrimp sauté. Jason liked his with a little bit of extra soy sauce on the side.

I think we had glazed bananas for dessert, but I can’t really remember. I did just turn 42 yesterday. The memory is gone. But it’s an easy dessert so I’ll tell you how to make it.

2 bananas, sliced
1-2 T brown sugar
2 T butter

Saute it all together, just until the sugar and butter form a thick coating. We typically eat it over yogurt. My favorite is greek yogurt, but you could also serve it over ice cream, pound cake, angel food cake, or anything really. You could also add some nuts and/or drizzle it with chocolate. Now I’m getting hungry!