Friday, May 2, 2008


I know I’ve kept some of you hanging. I should be a writer for Lost! To continue…..

So, she calls my name and we walk back to the exam room. I’m still clinging to my vial of sperm and am now profoundly nervous. I liken it to the first time you have sex. You are excited and really want to do it, but have no idea what to expect, so your heart is just racing. I hand the nurse the vial and she asks if I need to use the restroom. I figure this is a good idea so I do. When I return she tells me that I need to undress or I can just pull my skirt up and take off my panties. That is WAY too much like I’m a teenager sneaking to get laid, so I opt for taking it off! There is a little section of the exam room that is sectioned off with a curtain where I go to undress. She hands me a sheet to wrap around myself.

When I emerge, she tells me to lie on the exam table with my feet in the stirrups. This is exactly what happens during a regular ob/gyn appointment, so now I’m feeling a little like a pro. Any familiarity offers some small comfort at this point! She then explains what will happen. She will “clean” my cervix with what appears to be a large q-tip, then insert a catheter attached to a syringe, in which she has placed the specimen. She will insert the catheter, through the cervix (hence the “cleaning”), into my uterus. Once the catheter reaches the top of my uterus, she will insert the sperm. She tells me that I should feel some cramping. She leaves the catheter there for two minutes and then slowly withdraws it. I then lie on the table for ten minutes allowing the sperm to swim up my fallopian tubes. We are chatting this entire time, mostly about baby things, but not really the procedure. I feel slight cramps, but a routine pelvic exam is more uncomfortable. She then explains what should happen over the next couple of weeks, and instructs me to stay put for another few minutes and go about my day.

Lying on the table, alone in the room, I try to visual what is happening inside my body. It’s a strange sense. I keep wanting to feel something, but I’m not even sure what it is. Emotionally, I am feeling a sense of peace and excitement. After about 5 mins, I get dressed and leave. It’s strange leaving. I just walk out alone. It’s almost a disappointment, I wanted the fanfare, but the happiness is stronger, so thankfully it wins out. I return to work, where everyone is bursting with questions and excitement, which helps to prolong the euphoric mood for a bit longer. But then, it’s back to work. I can’t really concentrate on anything, however, because I can’t stop thinking about what could be happening inside me!

A couple hours later, the cramps start! And they progressively get worse. By the time, I head home for the day, I am almost doubled over. Thank God it’s Friday because I just want to go lie down. I have never experienced cramps like that. It’s not that the pain is so severe, but the cramping just doesn’t ease. I spend the entire evening in bed, which Shadow is thoroughly unhappy about, and manages to make this known every hour! The next morning, the cramps have dulled, andI am able to function fairly normally, although it’s still somewhat uncomfortable. By that evening, thankfully they are gone.

The next 2 weeks are anything but normal, but that will have to wait until the next posting.

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