Ravings: I have mixed feelings about autumn as a season in general. I love the leaves and the crispness in the air, but I hate the impending feeling of doom it brings. For us Clevelanders, autumn is just a fast track to freezing cold, dark and grey, miserable winter. There are some perks of winter, like my neighbors staying inside their houses and fuzzy socks, but other than that it’s just something I endure! Autumn, however, I like to relish a bit. The smells and colors of autumn are breathtaking. The smell of a crackling fire or brightly colored crunchy leaves in a big pile. I wish I had a picture of the Basketeria stand at the West Side Market. There are the heirloom tomatoes of all shapes and colors, the dark purple sweet peppers, the saturated orange of the pumpkins, the dark green acorn squash, the fleshy butternut squash, and the bright rainbow colors of chard. It feels like a place of infinite possibilities! Good think I always make a list. Then those hues turn into yummy goodness, filling the house with aromas of smoky earthiness. Autumn is the time for thick, creamy soups and dark rich stews. This is the time of year when my crock pot gets a workout. What’s better than filling that bowl with all those veggies, some broth and some herbs and letting the house fill up with smells of onion and garlic and mushroom and rosemary!? This is making me hungry!
Cravings: After all that talk of autumn vegetables, this meal will fit right in. I cut a butternut squash in half, cleaned out the seeds (which you can roast like pumpkin seeds, btw) put a bit of water in a microwave safe dish and put the 2 halves in the microwave on high for about 10 mins. Peeling butternut squash is one of the worst tasks in the kitchen. I am surprised that I still have all of my appendages each and every time I complete this task. So this was my attempt at trying to make this task easier. It worked, to a degree. I didn’t have to wrestle with it, but it still wasn’t what I would call easy. Anyway, after the microwave I just let it sit for a while to cool off enough to handle.
Once I was ready to start dinner, I got out a great big skillet, sautéed some diced red onion, threw in some chopped rainbow chard, stems and leaves, and then added the cubed butternut squash. I then added about a cup of stock (I used vegetable stock because CJ is a vegetarian and when we do veggie night, I do it all the way so he can enjoy what we are eating as well), and a handful of dried porcini mushrooms. I then sprinkled in a little ground red pepper, some black pepper and some salt and then added a couple leaves fresh sage and a couple sprigs of fresh rosemary, both chopped. I also added a big tablespoon of some hot pepper mustard that my sister made. It simmered, covered, while a fried a couple pieces of bacon (for Jason and I). I served it in big bowls, sprinkled with the crumbled bacon and some grated parmesan cheese. So yummy and warm and full of autumn!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Big annoyances come in small packages
What a fantastic weekend! I feel like I was in some kind of time warp. We were able to get so much accomplished and I feel like I actually got to spend some good quality time with my new husband! What more could you ask for from a weekend. I also made my niece a dress! Told you....some weird time warp!
Little annoyances (Ravings): Remember the socks I bought for Jason? Well, one of those chores I accomplished over the weekend was laundry. That never-ending pile of drudgery. I hate doing laundry. Can you tell? It’s the folding and putting away that I dread. Ugh! But I digress, because prepping new clothes for the wash is another crazy, completely unnecessarily time consuming chore that typically just serves to piss me off. Anyway, the socks. It’s a package of six dress socks, hanging on that little plastic hanger, wrapped with the ring of cardboard around the middle with the brand name, size etc. So I take off the cardboard ring and am met with the gauntlet of little plastic thingies. This is what I have been calling them all weekend. I have since googled them and they are called barbs, fine barbs to be exact because they are small and thin. There were 12 of them holding these socks together! And we all know what it’s like to get those things off. You have to carefully get the scissors in there to cut them, without cutting the fabric, which would create a hole. This means you have to gently pull the fabric apart, being careful not to pull that little barb right through, which would create hole. I had to buy these socks because he puts holes in them with his toenails! He doesn’t need a tiny hole to help him get started!
What is this trend to pinning and stapling and fastening everything so that there is no chance of movement? I don’t understand it. They are socks! I paid like 5 dollars for them. Seriously, I’m totally ok if they shifted a bit. I have noticed this with children’s toys as well. Getting anything out of its packaging takes multiple and various tools, infinite time, and unending patience. Not to mention that you have a 5 year old standing there making you feel like a complete useless mass of cells for not getting the pony out of the box fast enough! Clearly, I’ve had this experience and have not yet recovered because I recall also having to get this plastic piece that had been sewn in out of its mane.
What I’m eating: (Cravings): I took the day off from cooking on Friday and asked Jason to handle dinner. We ended up ordering pizza. And by we, I mean me! I really have no idea what that man did before I was feeding him. So, clearly, this was not a gluten free meal! Oh well, I’m back at it on Sat morning.
Saturday night I made flax and parmesan crusted tilapia with spinach salad. Basically, I ground up some flax seeds ( I never measure when I’m cooking so I will guess it was about a ½ cup for 2 fillets. ) in a coffee grinder, then added some (maybe a ¼ cup) shredded parmesan cheese, and put it on a plate. I dredged the fish is 2 beaten eggs and then the flax and cheese mixture and pan fried it in a tiny bit of olive oil. Right before it finished cooking I added about a tablespoon of butter. You don’t need the butter but Jason is a very picky fish eater and he likes it so I only do it to appease him. For the salad, I just chopped up an heirloom tomato and a bit of red onion (really thinly so it’s not overpowering) and put that over some baby spinach. I then sprinkled on some feta cheese we had leftover and a bit of Annie’s Goddess dressing, which I’m obsessed with. I have figured out how to make my own but sometimes it’s just too time consuming. The next time I make it though, I’ll post the recipe I use!
Sunday we had Jason’s family over for his birthday dinner. I made a citrus roasted chicken. Super easy and it just cooks all day. Put a whole chicken in an over bag, rub some butter on the skin (not sure if this actually does anything!) and then put the rest in the bag. I think I used a little over a ½ a stick. Pour in some chicken stock (about ¼ - ½ cup), then cut 2 lemons, 2 limes, and 2 tangerines into pieces (the first time I made this I used oranges, but tangerines were on sale at the West Side Market last week) and throw them into the bag. Then I added some fresh rosemary, lemon thyme, sage and parsley, tied up the bag, put it in an uncovered roasting pan and threw it in the over at 350 for about 4-4 ½ hours. Note: This was like a 10 lb chicken, so decrease your cooking time accordingly. About an hour before I served dinner, I cut up some fingerling potatoes, coated them with lemon olive oil, salt and pepper and put them in the oven with the chicken. Then right before dinner I blanched some green beans and then sautéed them with a tablespoon of butter and a few tablespoons of balsamic vinegar for a few minutes. At the last minute, I threw in some sun dried tomatoes and then put them on a serving plate and sprinkled them with some leftover crumbled goat cheese. I was afraid I didn’t have enough food, so I also threw a bag of buttered brussel sprouts in the microwave! If I had more ambition, and a bigger kitchen, I would have used the juice from the chicken to make a gravy, but I had neither, so no gravy was had!
Little annoyances (Ravings): Remember the socks I bought for Jason? Well, one of those chores I accomplished over the weekend was laundry. That never-ending pile of drudgery. I hate doing laundry. Can you tell? It’s the folding and putting away that I dread. Ugh! But I digress, because prepping new clothes for the wash is another crazy, completely unnecessarily time consuming chore that typically just serves to piss me off. Anyway, the socks. It’s a package of six dress socks, hanging on that little plastic hanger, wrapped with the ring of cardboard around the middle with the brand name, size etc. So I take off the cardboard ring and am met with the gauntlet of little plastic thingies. This is what I have been calling them all weekend. I have since googled them and they are called barbs, fine barbs to be exact because they are small and thin. There were 12 of them holding these socks together! And we all know what it’s like to get those things off. You have to carefully get the scissors in there to cut them, without cutting the fabric, which would create a hole. This means you have to gently pull the fabric apart, being careful not to pull that little barb right through, which would create hole. I had to buy these socks because he puts holes in them with his toenails! He doesn’t need a tiny hole to help him get started!
What is this trend to pinning and stapling and fastening everything so that there is no chance of movement? I don’t understand it. They are socks! I paid like 5 dollars for them. Seriously, I’m totally ok if they shifted a bit. I have noticed this with children’s toys as well. Getting anything out of its packaging takes multiple and various tools, infinite time, and unending patience. Not to mention that you have a 5 year old standing there making you feel like a complete useless mass of cells for not getting the pony out of the box fast enough! Clearly, I’ve had this experience and have not yet recovered because I recall also having to get this plastic piece that had been sewn in out of its mane.
What I’m eating: (Cravings): I took the day off from cooking on Friday and asked Jason to handle dinner. We ended up ordering pizza. And by we, I mean me! I really have no idea what that man did before I was feeding him. So, clearly, this was not a gluten free meal! Oh well, I’m back at it on Sat morning.
Saturday night I made flax and parmesan crusted tilapia with spinach salad. Basically, I ground up some flax seeds ( I never measure when I’m cooking so I will guess it was about a ½ cup for 2 fillets. ) in a coffee grinder, then added some (maybe a ¼ cup) shredded parmesan cheese, and put it on a plate. I dredged the fish is 2 beaten eggs and then the flax and cheese mixture and pan fried it in a tiny bit of olive oil. Right before it finished cooking I added about a tablespoon of butter. You don’t need the butter but Jason is a very picky fish eater and he likes it so I only do it to appease him. For the salad, I just chopped up an heirloom tomato and a bit of red onion (really thinly so it’s not overpowering) and put that over some baby spinach. I then sprinkled on some feta cheese we had leftover and a bit of Annie’s Goddess dressing, which I’m obsessed with. I have figured out how to make my own but sometimes it’s just too time consuming. The next time I make it though, I’ll post the recipe I use!
Sunday we had Jason’s family over for his birthday dinner. I made a citrus roasted chicken. Super easy and it just cooks all day. Put a whole chicken in an over bag, rub some butter on the skin (not sure if this actually does anything!) and then put the rest in the bag. I think I used a little over a ½ a stick. Pour in some chicken stock (about ¼ - ½ cup), then cut 2 lemons, 2 limes, and 2 tangerines into pieces (the first time I made this I used oranges, but tangerines were on sale at the West Side Market last week) and throw them into the bag. Then I added some fresh rosemary, lemon thyme, sage and parsley, tied up the bag, put it in an uncovered roasting pan and threw it in the over at 350 for about 4-4 ½ hours. Note: This was like a 10 lb chicken, so decrease your cooking time accordingly. About an hour before I served dinner, I cut up some fingerling potatoes, coated them with lemon olive oil, salt and pepper and put them in the oven with the chicken. Then right before dinner I blanched some green beans and then sautéed them with a tablespoon of butter and a few tablespoons of balsamic vinegar for a few minutes. At the last minute, I threw in some sun dried tomatoes and then put them on a serving plate and sprinkled them with some leftover crumbled goat cheese. I was afraid I didn’t have enough food, so I also threw a bag of buttered brussel sprouts in the microwave! If I had more ambition, and a bigger kitchen, I would have used the juice from the chicken to make a gravy, but I had neither, so no gravy was had!
Friday, October 14, 2011
My heaven is mundane!
So here I am Friday morning, sitting at work with my second cup of coffee, which in reality equals 4 cups because I have one of those huge coffee mugs, but some days I need an IV drip of coffee to get through the morning. As I was pondering what to write about I realized that the last 2 days have been, well normal and mundane. My first reaction is to panic because I don’t really have anything exciting to write about, but then I find this smile creeping up inside me. I crave normal and mundane in this wild hectic schedule of mine!
Wednesday evening I met my sister in North Olmsted for a chemical peel. (I can’t say facial anymore because Jason, who is really still just a 12 year old boy can’t stop himself from making a sexual comment each and every time I say the word, so I now have an aversion to it!) We had purchased them several months ago on Living Social (great concept, btw. Why didn’t I come up with that?) and haven’t been able to coordinate our schedules enough to schedule the appointment until now. Technically, the voucher had expired, but since we called a few weeks ago before it expired, they still let us use it! So, for an hour or so on Wednesday evening I got to be girly. Even as I write this, I have to stop and savor that moment!
Of course, after the appointment, it’s on to some errands. I tried to extend our girl time but my sister had to get home to the sitter! Her schedule is worse than mine! I admire, and envy, her energy! I run to Target to get Jason some socks because he had these dagger toenails that rip right through them. I have had socks for years. He goes through socks monthly! While I’m there I decide to pick up some food since I haven’t been to the grocery store in almost 2 weeks, and then I head home to hopefully eat and spend five minutes with my husband.
Last night was almost like heaven! I snuck out of work about ½ hour early and ran to the store to get Jason some pants. He has to dress up for work every day and clearly we haven’t been able to get the laundry done quickly enough each week because he’s been running out. He needs at least a week’s worth of clothes, since I have 2 closets full! I get home about an hour after he gets home and he’s sitting on the couch with Shadow. The two of them are all snuggled up under the blanket looking all cute and inviting that I just plopped down on the couch with them! He said that Shadow had decided tonight was a no projects night! I took a few minutes to just snuggle them both, and then I forced myself to go make dinner!
We had a sort of ground beef ragu over mashed potatoes and parsley root with a side of roasted veggies! It didn’t take me too long to make it and we settled in for a family night. CJ even sat down and watched The Office with us when he got home from work. I did have to make a menu plan and a grocery list, but surprisingly it didn’t take me very long and I was able to finish it while Jason was on the phone with his brother. We even got to bed early! I love these lazy, snuggly days of fall!
Wednesday evening I met my sister in North Olmsted for a chemical peel. (I can’t say facial anymore because Jason, who is really still just a 12 year old boy can’t stop himself from making a sexual comment each and every time I say the word, so I now have an aversion to it!) We had purchased them several months ago on Living Social (great concept, btw. Why didn’t I come up with that?) and haven’t been able to coordinate our schedules enough to schedule the appointment until now. Technically, the voucher had expired, but since we called a few weeks ago before it expired, they still let us use it! So, for an hour or so on Wednesday evening I got to be girly. Even as I write this, I have to stop and savor that moment!
Of course, after the appointment, it’s on to some errands. I tried to extend our girl time but my sister had to get home to the sitter! Her schedule is worse than mine! I admire, and envy, her energy! I run to Target to get Jason some socks because he had these dagger toenails that rip right through them. I have had socks for years. He goes through socks monthly! While I’m there I decide to pick up some food since I haven’t been to the grocery store in almost 2 weeks, and then I head home to hopefully eat and spend five minutes with my husband.
Last night was almost like heaven! I snuck out of work about ½ hour early and ran to the store to get Jason some pants. He has to dress up for work every day and clearly we haven’t been able to get the laundry done quickly enough each week because he’s been running out. He needs at least a week’s worth of clothes, since I have 2 closets full! I get home about an hour after he gets home and he’s sitting on the couch with Shadow. The two of them are all snuggled up under the blanket looking all cute and inviting that I just plopped down on the couch with them! He said that Shadow had decided tonight was a no projects night! I took a few minutes to just snuggle them both, and then I forced myself to go make dinner!
We had a sort of ground beef ragu over mashed potatoes and parsley root with a side of roasted veggies! It didn’t take me too long to make it and we settled in for a family night. CJ even sat down and watched The Office with us when he got home from work. I did have to make a menu plan and a grocery list, but surprisingly it didn’t take me very long and I was able to finish it while Jason was on the phone with his brother. We even got to bed early! I love these lazy, snuggly days of fall!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Welcome to the Land of Bitter!
It’s Wed and I’m sitting down to eat my lunch. My intention was to write a recap of the last 2 days, but first I need to vent. I just went into the cafeteria to warm up my lunch of rice and veggies, with a side of organic pear and cheddar cheese, and I encounter another woman warming up her lunch. Normally, I don’t care what other people eat and I’m used to being made fun of for my restrictive whole organic food diet, but it’s one of those moments that strikes me and sends me to bitter land. She’s heating up a plate of mini pretzel dogs and has a can of coke sitting next to the box! Bad enough, right? Here’s where I go to bitter! She’s like 5 months pregnant!! I know, I know. Time to let it go. There’s more that makes me angry about the situation, but I can’t go to the bitter AND judgmental place. I’ll just stay here in bitter land while I eat my pear!
On to the recap: Monday was a blur of working. I hate those days when I am working 2 jobs and there is that awkward amount of time in between. It’s not really enough time to go home and do anything productive, other than maybe irritate Shadow and use the bathroom, but its way too much time to head straight to the appointment. So you are left with going early and wasting time, which is what I did. It worked out well though because I’ve been playing phone tag with my sister-in-law and I was able to have an actual conversation with her and get caught up, so ended up being time well spent.
It was about 9:30 when I got home, starving and exhausted, and walked in the house to find my kitchen destroyed. We have had some ongoing, although periodic trouble with our dishwasher leaking. Jason decided to rip it apart, find the leak and fix it. But of course, he did this before the dishes were done! So the dishwasher is in the middle of the kitchen and dishes are covering the counter. And they didn’t make the dinner I had told them to make, so there was nothing to eat! I just turned around and walked upstairs to change into my pajamas. Jason did make me some leftover chili and I finally crawled into bed.
Yesterday was a great day. It was Jason’s birthday and I was excited to have a real date! I only worked one job, so I got home at 5ish, and he arrived shortly after. CJ also started his new job yesterday and I was excited to hear about that, but he wasn’t due to arrive home until like 8:30. After getting caught up on our neighborhood drama because my neighbor couldn’t even wait until I got out of the car to come tell me the gossip, we left for our night out!
We ate dinner at Lago in Tremont. What a wonderful meal. The food was phenomenal and the service outstanding! I would highly recommend this place! It was almost like we were dating again. There was laughter, romance, food sharing; all the markings of bona fide date night! Being the constant observer of people, I couldn’t help but notice the “couple” at the table next to ours. They were an odd couple to begin with, but their demeanor and behavior made it all the more impossible to resist. I found myself studying them several times throughout the night. He was the quintessential nerd, ipad in hand, and I overheard him talking to the manager about not being able to access their wi-fi. She was a gorgeous black woman, dressed professionally. Odd couple, even in appearance alone. He stared into space most of the evening and she concentrated primarily on her food, occasionally looking at him with an expression that seemed exacerbated to almost disdainful. But they didn’t speak. At all! I couldn’t help but wonder aloud about their story! They didn’t appear to have that almost obvious look of a first date gone terribly wrong, and other than the occasional look of contempt or frustration, they appeared almost like strangers. Jason’s contribution to my musings was that the woman could be an “escort.” He has no imagination, or maybe it’s no interest. Either way, I disproved that theory when she was handed the check for dinner. She signed the receipt, got up and leaned over the table and said something to him, turned and walked out. He followed.
Of course, I do to ask our waiter about this odd couple and he confirmed that they are, in fact, a couple and come to the restaurant all the time! He continued on, telling me that they always act like that. They never interact with one another, they take turns paying, and he typically spends the evening on his ipad or his iphone. He also added that they don’t tip well. It really does take all kinds!
On to the recap: Monday was a blur of working. I hate those days when I am working 2 jobs and there is that awkward amount of time in between. It’s not really enough time to go home and do anything productive, other than maybe irritate Shadow and use the bathroom, but its way too much time to head straight to the appointment. So you are left with going early and wasting time, which is what I did. It worked out well though because I’ve been playing phone tag with my sister-in-law and I was able to have an actual conversation with her and get caught up, so ended up being time well spent.
It was about 9:30 when I got home, starving and exhausted, and walked in the house to find my kitchen destroyed. We have had some ongoing, although periodic trouble with our dishwasher leaking. Jason decided to rip it apart, find the leak and fix it. But of course, he did this before the dishes were done! So the dishwasher is in the middle of the kitchen and dishes are covering the counter. And they didn’t make the dinner I had told them to make, so there was nothing to eat! I just turned around and walked upstairs to change into my pajamas. Jason did make me some leftover chili and I finally crawled into bed.
Yesterday was a great day. It was Jason’s birthday and I was excited to have a real date! I only worked one job, so I got home at 5ish, and he arrived shortly after. CJ also started his new job yesterday and I was excited to hear about that, but he wasn’t due to arrive home until like 8:30. After getting caught up on our neighborhood drama because my neighbor couldn’t even wait until I got out of the car to come tell me the gossip, we left for our night out!
We ate dinner at Lago in Tremont. What a wonderful meal. The food was phenomenal and the service outstanding! I would highly recommend this place! It was almost like we were dating again. There was laughter, romance, food sharing; all the markings of bona fide date night! Being the constant observer of people, I couldn’t help but notice the “couple” at the table next to ours. They were an odd couple to begin with, but their demeanor and behavior made it all the more impossible to resist. I found myself studying them several times throughout the night. He was the quintessential nerd, ipad in hand, and I overheard him talking to the manager about not being able to access their wi-fi. She was a gorgeous black woman, dressed professionally. Odd couple, even in appearance alone. He stared into space most of the evening and she concentrated primarily on her food, occasionally looking at him with an expression that seemed exacerbated to almost disdainful. But they didn’t speak. At all! I couldn’t help but wonder aloud about their story! They didn’t appear to have that almost obvious look of a first date gone terribly wrong, and other than the occasional look of contempt or frustration, they appeared almost like strangers. Jason’s contribution to my musings was that the woman could be an “escort.” He has no imagination, or maybe it’s no interest. Either way, I disproved that theory when she was handed the check for dinner. She signed the receipt, got up and leaned over the table and said something to him, turned and walked out. He followed.
Of course, I do to ask our waiter about this odd couple and he confirmed that they are, in fact, a couple and come to the restaurant all the time! He continued on, telling me that they always act like that. They never interact with one another, they take turns paying, and he typically spends the evening on his ipad or his iphone. He also added that they don’t tip well. It really does take all kinds!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
There's no place like home
What a crazy busy weekend!!! I finally had a free evening, and Jason stayed after work to play poker. So Friday night ended up being a “do stuff around the house” night. We were having a realtor come over on Sat, so it was probably best that I was forced to find something productive to do. So I spent the evening clipping coupons, making beds, and scrubbing the bathroom. All the while, recalling the days when Friday evening was about nothing but getting dressed up and going out. Those days seem so long ago!!
Saturday, I had a mandatory compliance meeting for my new business venture. Was pretty interesting, but nothing I didn’t know. I flew home after the meeting and had 2 hours to prepare for the realtor. I was under the delusion that I could deny the reality of the market by making my house sparkling clean. Jason and CJ had done a great job doing the basics that morning, but there were still some details to finish. They are boys after all! We get everything looking fabulous and even put some artwork up, including some really cool wall stickers above our bed because we don’t have a headboard. (We had subtle Wizard of Oz theme to our wedding, so it seemed appropriate. See below.)
Once this is all done, I say to CJ, “Is your room clean?” He, of course, says yes. So I say, “Clean to my standards or clean to your standards.” He admits it’s somewhere in the middle, and I know I’m going to have to go up there and check. He occupies the third floor walk up attic, and I’ve tried to avoid venturing up there since he moved in. But I know it’s inevitable. Before I cave, I send Jason into the abyss….. and then he comes back down and says what I’ve been dreading….”You are going to have to go up there!” So I steel myself against what I might find and walk up the stairs. And then the panic sets in. The man who will determine my fate (I know I’m being dramatic, but we really want out of the house/neighborhood!) will be here in 30 mins. This could take years! I knew that teenage boys were messy, but this….this is…..there are no words. And this was after he cleaned it! Thankfully, some unknown force are sheer brute strength and will took over. I began barking orders, shoving things under the bed, into drawers, wherever I could hide the junk. And I literally mean junk! (Note to self: Discuss possible hoarding tendencies with Jason and maybe find out how much weight the top floor of our house will support!)
Thankfully, the man was late! So Jason and I were able to compose ourselves, pour a drink and sit on the front porch looking like it was effortless before the man arrived.
We all know where this is going right? Unless you live under a rock that is buried in a cave covered in prehistoric sludge, you know we are underwater on our mortgage! And I think in the back of my mind, I knew it would be bad. The reality, for me, stings. For Jason, it hurt a little more! He’s still reeling a bit. I mean, I bought this house almost 12 years ago, and thought I got a pretty good deal back then. It was a fixer-upper (fun in the beginning, but I have since vowed to never undergo any form of renovation on a home older than 10 years!), and I’ve put a ton of work into it. And so has Jason. His more recent, which is why I think he’s still in shock! So, our only choices are to stay and deal with the drama that is our street or ruin my credit by defaulting or begging for a short sale. I know in the end we will do the right thing. We are both so damn responsible! But for now, we enjoy plotting our escape!
To console ourselves, and because CJ went to a haunted house with a friend, we had a real live date night at home! I made steaks, roasted potatoes and caprese salad, and then we played a video game on the Wii. No one can tell me that doesn’t count! It totally counts as a date!
Sunday was spent at my dad’s doing the winterizing chores and the yard work. We got some free plants out of the deal so we can finish the back yard landscaping, and we were well-fed. So all-in-all, it was a pretty nice weekend in total.
Saturday, I had a mandatory compliance meeting for my new business venture. Was pretty interesting, but nothing I didn’t know. I flew home after the meeting and had 2 hours to prepare for the realtor. I was under the delusion that I could deny the reality of the market by making my house sparkling clean. Jason and CJ had done a great job doing the basics that morning, but there were still some details to finish. They are boys after all! We get everything looking fabulous and even put some artwork up, including some really cool wall stickers above our bed because we don’t have a headboard. (We had subtle Wizard of Oz theme to our wedding, so it seemed appropriate. See below.)
Once this is all done, I say to CJ, “Is your room clean?” He, of course, says yes. So I say, “Clean to my standards or clean to your standards.” He admits it’s somewhere in the middle, and I know I’m going to have to go up there and check. He occupies the third floor walk up attic, and I’ve tried to avoid venturing up there since he moved in. But I know it’s inevitable. Before I cave, I send Jason into the abyss….. and then he comes back down and says what I’ve been dreading….”You are going to have to go up there!” So I steel myself against what I might find and walk up the stairs. And then the panic sets in. The man who will determine my fate (I know I’m being dramatic, but we really want out of the house/neighborhood!) will be here in 30 mins. This could take years! I knew that teenage boys were messy, but this….this is…..there are no words. And this was after he cleaned it! Thankfully, some unknown force are sheer brute strength and will took over. I began barking orders, shoving things under the bed, into drawers, wherever I could hide the junk. And I literally mean junk! (Note to self: Discuss possible hoarding tendencies with Jason and maybe find out how much weight the top floor of our house will support!)
Thankfully, the man was late! So Jason and I were able to compose ourselves, pour a drink and sit on the front porch looking like it was effortless before the man arrived.
We all know where this is going right? Unless you live under a rock that is buried in a cave covered in prehistoric sludge, you know we are underwater on our mortgage! And I think in the back of my mind, I knew it would be bad. The reality, for me, stings. For Jason, it hurt a little more! He’s still reeling a bit. I mean, I bought this house almost 12 years ago, and thought I got a pretty good deal back then. It was a fixer-upper (fun in the beginning, but I have since vowed to never undergo any form of renovation on a home older than 10 years!), and I’ve put a ton of work into it. And so has Jason. His more recent, which is why I think he’s still in shock! So, our only choices are to stay and deal with the drama that is our street or ruin my credit by defaulting or begging for a short sale. I know in the end we will do the right thing. We are both so damn responsible! But for now, we enjoy plotting our escape!
To console ourselves, and because CJ went to a haunted house with a friend, we had a real live date night at home! I made steaks, roasted potatoes and caprese salad, and then we played a video game on the Wii. No one can tell me that doesn’t count! It totally counts as a date!
Sunday was spent at my dad’s doing the winterizing chores and the yard work. We got some free plants out of the deal so we can finish the back yard landscaping, and we were well-fed. So all-in-all, it was a pretty nice weekend in total.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Saggy pants!
A million thoughts were running through my head this morning about what to put into today’s blog post, but as I sat at a red light on my way to work, I saw a man and his son (probably around 5-7 years old) crossing the street. At first it was one of those sweet early morning sights that make you smile. There is some construction on E 22nd near my office, so there are orange barrels at the corner and near them the street is wet from whatever they are doing. The dad, starting across the street first does that half jump, half tip-toe we all do through water, and holds his hand behind him signaling for his son. His son now begins to cross the street, attempting to do exactly what his dad had done, but has to jump/tip-toe at least 5 times to his dad’s one, but he never takes his eyes off his dad as he reaches for his hand. They then clasp hands and walk the rest of the way across the street, the son beaming with pride. And then I see the back of dad, his jeans, belt and all, hanging below his butt cheeks, boxers completely exposed, sagging halfway down his legs, and I am instantly irritated! It almost deflated me. I was angry with him for taking this moment away from me. I so wanted to be proud of him for walking his son to school and being that role-model, but I was just so damn disappointed with the saggy pants.
Then the therapist mind kicks in. Why does this bother me so much? He’s still walking his son to school. He still held his hand across the street. His son obviously adores him and wants to be just like him. I think that’s it. He wants to be just like him, saggy pants and all. This kid will eventually be that same punk kid with saggy pants I see all over Cleveland! Or am I just angry (read: jealous) because I feel like I’ve sold out? I gave up my own versions of saggy pants to get ahead in my career. It’s an interesting question, which I’m sure I will continue to think about. What I do know is that those damn saggy pants set me on a path of irritation that isn’t easy to get rid of at work! Just another reason to hate visible boxers!
Here’s a brief synopsis of the other thoughts running through my head this morning:
• My step-son, CJ, got a job!!! Big news in our house because since moving in his days consist of playing on Facebook, watching tv, and playing guitar. Oh most recently, he’s taking up singing. Now, he has a natural amazing talent for guitar, even though I would still like him to get a paying job! He considers himself an unsigned artist and wants to focus on his music! He really needed to get a job. Let me state for the record. He is not a singer. My friend, L, called me a dream killer for saying that, but let’s all remember….I’m a realist!
• Now that I’ve accepted the fate of the childless, my husband has decided it’s his mission to get me pregnant. Sounds fun, right? Except, his plan if for me to give up gluten! I know, makes no sense. I do not have celiac disease, but he heard Elizabeth Hasselbeck talk about how she struggled getting pregnant until she discovered she had a gluten allergy. I have tried to convince him that there are some other differences between Elizabeth and I, but he has apparently never had a biology class. She’s in her teens and I’m going to be 42 in a month!
• My complete and utter lack of free time, and I’ve now decided to take on another job. While I’m excited about it, I’m also terrified that I will never sleep again. And I just got married. I would like to spend some time with my husband! Does sitting on the couch eating dinner and watching The Office at 9pm count as a date?
Speaking of: I worked yesterday until about 7:30pm, and then made dinner. We ate at about 8:30. I made sweet Italian sausage with sautéed onions, pear, and gorgonzola cheese. It was super yummy, only took me about ½ hour and dirtied one pan! Let me know if you want more detail!
Then the therapist mind kicks in. Why does this bother me so much? He’s still walking his son to school. He still held his hand across the street. His son obviously adores him and wants to be just like him. I think that’s it. He wants to be just like him, saggy pants and all. This kid will eventually be that same punk kid with saggy pants I see all over Cleveland! Or am I just angry (read: jealous) because I feel like I’ve sold out? I gave up my own versions of saggy pants to get ahead in my career. It’s an interesting question, which I’m sure I will continue to think about. What I do know is that those damn saggy pants set me on a path of irritation that isn’t easy to get rid of at work! Just another reason to hate visible boxers!
Here’s a brief synopsis of the other thoughts running through my head this morning:
• My step-son, CJ, got a job!!! Big news in our house because since moving in his days consist of playing on Facebook, watching tv, and playing guitar. Oh most recently, he’s taking up singing. Now, he has a natural amazing talent for guitar, even though I would still like him to get a paying job! He considers himself an unsigned artist and wants to focus on his music! He really needed to get a job. Let me state for the record. He is not a singer. My friend, L, called me a dream killer for saying that, but let’s all remember….I’m a realist!
• Now that I’ve accepted the fate of the childless, my husband has decided it’s his mission to get me pregnant. Sounds fun, right? Except, his plan if for me to give up gluten! I know, makes no sense. I do not have celiac disease, but he heard Elizabeth Hasselbeck talk about how she struggled getting pregnant until she discovered she had a gluten allergy. I have tried to convince him that there are some other differences between Elizabeth and I, but he has apparently never had a biology class. She’s in her teens and I’m going to be 42 in a month!
• My complete and utter lack of free time, and I’ve now decided to take on another job. While I’m excited about it, I’m also terrified that I will never sleep again. And I just got married. I would like to spend some time with my husband! Does sitting on the couch eating dinner and watching The Office at 9pm count as a date?
Speaking of: I worked yesterday until about 7:30pm, and then made dinner. We ate at about 8:30. I made sweet Italian sausage with sautéed onions, pear, and gorgonzola cheese. It was super yummy, only took me about ½ hour and dirtied one pan! Let me know if you want more detail!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
How things change!!!
It has been years (shocking how many actually!) since I’ve looked back upon this blog. As I read it, some of the pain rushes back with that tingly sensation of having been asleep for a period of time. I don’t really recall when or how I made the decision to turn my back on this blog. I just know that I did, and I think I had to. As we all know, I’m not good at being vulnerable and those wounds were just too deep and too exposed to face. Even now as I look back with so much perspective and an entirely different life, so different, in fact, that it’s somewhat difficult to picture the old one, I can still feel that pain to my core, sharp and biting as ever. Most days it’s pretty well buried and I don’t even notice it. But even now, three years later, some event, image, sound, word, it’s pretty unpredictable really, will send me to my knees in tears.
Having said all of that, I am happy. Truly, deeply happy. I have mourned the loss and have moved into a wonderful emotional place. Toward the end of the “trying to get pregnant” process, I met a man who has become that person in my life that I had stopped believing possible. He was sweet and supportive from the beginning and held my hand and my heart through some pretty horrific grieving. We are now married and building a life together. It’s a crazy, messy, goofy, unpredictable life, and I really couldn’t be happier.
As I read back over all the posts and re-experience all the emotions, I can’t help reflect on how different I seem/feel, I’m not sure which of those words portrays the thoughts. I’ve always thought of myself as a strong person, and as I read the blog I can still sense that inner strength that I held onto through that process, but I feel stronger now. Or maybe it’s surer. Is that even a word? It doesn’t set off my spell check so I’m feeling ok about using it, and I think it more accurately effects how I’m feeling. I feel sure, grounded, this sense of peace and security that wraps me up like a warm blanket. And I feel softer. I’m less afraid and more willing be vulnerable.
And I miss writing!!! So this in my new attempt at blogging. I’m going to try to be better at timeliness, but I’m making no promises. Currently my life is about, work and family. Work is work and I’d like to avoid it as much as possible, but I’m sure it will sneak in here now and again, but family will be my focus. Since I work so much, (and I’ve just taken on another part-time job!) home is a delicate juggling act. For the most part I think I manage it pretty well, so I’m going to put it out there for review. Be gentle please.
My current obsession is real, organic, healthy eating. I cook, from scratch, almost every night. And it’s good! Even my brother-in-law and my friend L*, who both have the palate of toddlers, (ok maybe pre-teens) think it’s good. But there are a million cooking blogs, so while I may focus on some cooking this isn’t strictly a cooking blog. I plan to take license to write about whatever strikes me, but I’ll at least let you know what I’m cooking. Deal? Good, then here we go…..
Having said all of that, I am happy. Truly, deeply happy. I have mourned the loss and have moved into a wonderful emotional place. Toward the end of the “trying to get pregnant” process, I met a man who has become that person in my life that I had stopped believing possible. He was sweet and supportive from the beginning and held my hand and my heart through some pretty horrific grieving. We are now married and building a life together. It’s a crazy, messy, goofy, unpredictable life, and I really couldn’t be happier.
As I read back over all the posts and re-experience all the emotions, I can’t help reflect on how different I seem/feel, I’m not sure which of those words portrays the thoughts. I’ve always thought of myself as a strong person, and as I read the blog I can still sense that inner strength that I held onto through that process, but I feel stronger now. Or maybe it’s surer. Is that even a word? It doesn’t set off my spell check so I’m feeling ok about using it, and I think it more accurately effects how I’m feeling. I feel sure, grounded, this sense of peace and security that wraps me up like a warm blanket. And I feel softer. I’m less afraid and more willing be vulnerable.
And I miss writing!!! So this in my new attempt at blogging. I’m going to try to be better at timeliness, but I’m making no promises. Currently my life is about, work and family. Work is work and I’d like to avoid it as much as possible, but I’m sure it will sneak in here now and again, but family will be my focus. Since I work so much, (and I’ve just taken on another part-time job!) home is a delicate juggling act. For the most part I think I manage it pretty well, so I’m going to put it out there for review. Be gentle please.
My current obsession is real, organic, healthy eating. I cook, from scratch, almost every night. And it’s good! Even my brother-in-law and my friend L*, who both have the palate of toddlers, (ok maybe pre-teens) think it’s good. But there are a million cooking blogs, so while I may focus on some cooking this isn’t strictly a cooking blog. I plan to take license to write about whatever strikes me, but I’ll at least let you know what I’m cooking. Deal? Good, then here we go…..
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